Tonight was a true study of a man out of his element, sports fans. As an amatuer people watcher, tonight was special. Now I went to this particular establishment to purchase a couple of new undergarments for myself as mine were beginning to show some wear and tear but that is another story (only told in the dirty little fantasies of my minions out there.) Back to the story...what a funny situation to behold, men, men, everywhere, and only pretty women to help them out.
"Good evening sir, may I help you?" "Ahhh...yeah...I....ah....welll
." "Is it a Valentine's gift?" she asked like a seer of his thoughts. He manages to nod. Clearly he is uncomfortable (understatement!!). Being the pro the young saleslady is, she asks the next questions. "Wife/girlfriend? What do you have in mind (dangerous question to men in a lingerie store - mind you) ? Do you know her size? Is she big like me? Small like her? What about through here?" And on she goes and the poor guy can only grunt and nod or shake his head (above the shoulders, stay with me here boys). He is really trying to not look at the women, the frilly lacey things, and certainly not out into the mall. "God, I hope no one I know sees me in here!" "Is there a particular color you are looking for? Black? White? Red?" Again he nods. "How about the matching thongs?" Cha-ching. With his heart pumping at a high rate his brain (above the shoulders) is swamped with too many decisions. Information overload. He takes them all. She asks if he would like it wrapped. Not sure what she meant. She shows him the wrapping paper. He stammers a yes. It cost him almost $150 for this little forray into no MANs land.
On his way by me I could not resist piling on. Holding up a sexy little red teddy I asked, "Do you think I would look hot in this?"
He grunted something and hightailed it out the door. The sales lady who had served him burst out in laughter saying she had always wanted to do that.
Be brave boys and keep you head up high (above the shoulders, again). You can do this. Besides the lingerie is for you, silly!
What did I get? I put the teddy back and got the flannel nightgowns I had come for....welcome to the upper midwest boys. Nothing sexier than flannel.