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Tag:sex
Posted on: March 20, 2008 6:02 pm
 

Where's Waldo Been In This World?

At the special request of one of my most ardent supporters, another question for the men and women of this board.  Lovin' in elevators, backseat of your ole man's Ford, behind them bushes, in the park, the kitchen table, your parents room, in a hospital bed (with or without the nurse), at school, in your son's tree house, your office, the mall, a mile high.....where ever you have had the gumption, the kahonis, the urge, the surge, the 'mones....what is the most outrageous place you have had sex.....and so help me God the first person who says' "Up the butt" will get a deletion so fast you'll wonder if you actually hit the submit button......Circumstances are helpful in scoring your post.

For me the most outrageous is in a movie theatre...I dated the owner...and we had some after hours showings.  Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more.....

AV

Dare I say keep it clean?

Posted on: March 17, 2008 5:01 pm
 

Caress me, kiss me, when and where?

The first time.  Starts with a glance, a coy look, a smile, a stare.  The time was right.  Who knows why now is now.  Mom and Dad are away.  The mice will play.  The hormones are surging.  It is so hot in here.  Caution is thrown to the wind and the sparks fly.  We all have our first time memory.   The circumstance, the location, the person you were with were all memorable.  The sex on the other hand was probably closer to forgettable. 

For the girls it is often a disappointment, over a little too fast for us and then there is all that poking around before hand.  No not there.  No. No definitely not THERE. Yeah OK there.  Where are you going?  What do you mean your done?

How about you fellas?  Let's be clear.  I want honesty.  No tales of manliness lasting deep into the evening. The poor girl begging for you to let her catch her breath.  The endless phone calls from her pleading for your return.  I want you to tell me about all 43 seconds in as much detail as proper editing can allow on this website.

Furthermore, I want to know .....was it serendipity?  Or your long time boy or girl friend?  Was it romantic or just overwith?  Who was it with? The baby sitter, the neighbor, the nanny, your cousin...let's hear it all including your age and your partner's age.

Let the lies begin......my BSometer is calibrated...so I will know....

 

Posted on: March 10, 2008 10:40 pm
 

How hungry do you have to be to go down....

.....to the store and actually buy a turnip and eat it.  Dear God, is it possible there is a worst tasting vegi than the turnip?  I give the brussel sprout it's due.  And cooked cauliflower is pretty bad.  The rutabaga is nasty.  But the turnip has to be the worst.  It tastes bad raw, pickled, boiled, steamed, deep fried, batter fried, pn fried in butter and garlic, even with filet mignon on top of it.

What did you think this blog was about?

Category: NCAAB
Posted on: March 10, 2008 8:05 am
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Posted on: February 24, 2008 9:29 am
 

Hugely Disapointed - Where's the beef???

For those that don't know the story I will refresh.  Please gather round and get comfortable.  It was the best of times.  It was the worst of times. 

The wonderful menfolk of the CBS sports thread family have for as long as I have been apart of it tried to outdo each other with a sexy woman posing in an avatar.  Some are classy beauty and sexuality, others are tawdry, sweat generators.  These were the best of times.

Along comes Dookisevil and Yankeechic asking for equal billing to show some manflesh.  Tsk tsk.  Sorry ladies this is an ethical breech. The ladies openly revolt.  Up goes Brady Anderson, Johnny Damon, and other male models.  The ladies get called out.  The worst of times.  I took down my avatars to show solidarity with my ladies and replaced it with an ugly fish.  Suddenly, no one wants to chat with Amerigo anymore.  When I do get to chat I get requests to put up the old av.  Or, my favorite, was for a bikini shot of me in a size too small suit.  Nice image.  I am going to let that sink in a moment.....................you
still with me?    So I thought, "OK, let's give 'em what they want."  I happen to have modeled a swim suit a few years ago so I had the goods to show.  But nothing in this world is free.  No free lunches. Quid pro quo.  My pic has been up for 1 day.  No one has been man enough to show the goods despite being called out by name.

I have a simple request.  I've shown mine, you show me yours.  The avatar must be of yourself.  Taken showing you wearing a tight garment (blue speedo, thong, titey whitey).  Boxers will not be accepted.  The pic must have your head cropped out.  The pic must be taken in front of your computer screen with the CBS home page clearly visible in the shot.

The ladies on the thread will be the judges for the following awards:

  1. Best nanner hammock
  2. Best tool shed
  3. Best 6 pack
  4. Best keg
  5. Best shag carpet
  6. Best pectoral display
  7. Best guns
  8. Best in show

The avatar must be visible on this thread Friday nite, Leap Day, at 8 pm EST and remain up for 1 hour.  You guys don't have any problem with your pic staying up that long do you?   Good.  Cash prizes will be awarded.  And remember....we are playing for almost twenty dollars here so try to remain good sports.

The US Senate reserves the right to subject the winners to a hearing to make sure no performance enhancing drugs were used in the competition.

Now the question -  Is it the best or worst of times?  Ladies?

Failure to have any participants will bring back the ugly fish avatar for eternity.

 

Posted on: February 20, 2008 8:39 am
 

A true Super Delegate Story

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had 
several hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets", and ten roosters,
whose job it was to fertilize the eggs. 

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went 
into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, 
so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. 
 
 
Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance 
which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out 
an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. 
 
The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen 
he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell 
hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate. 
 
The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The 
pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. 
 
But to Farmer John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so 
it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to 
the next one. 
 
John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Boothbay 
Harbor Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. 
 
The result...The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell 
Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well. 

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making: who else but 
a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly 
coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the 
populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention. 
 
Vote carefully...the bells are not always audible. 
Posted on: February 18, 2008 10:46 am
 

I refuse to participate in this recession...

Now that we have been told by all the folks that know about these things that they have decided to have a recession, I suppose there is nothing left to do except pull back all my planned expenditures and get on with it.  Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Obama agree on this point (that's scary.)  And the Repub man agrees.  And all the Wall Streeters agree.  And the talking heads in the media agree. 

So let's get on with the misery and wreck the economy.  Might as well get on with it so they can then decide when that has gone on long enough so they can tell us the recovery has begun so we can go back out and spend money again. 

OR

We could just refuse to participate in their little recession.  Buy things folks.  Don't overspend.  Don't put things on credit.  But buy what you can.  If you need a new tv and you can afford it then buy it.  We the consumers have the power to impact any actual recessions in our economy.  If we buy reasonably, we will recover faster.

Besides - a recession party doesn't sound like much fun to me.  Sounds like light beer and tater chips instead of Sam Adams and chilidogs.

 
 
 
 
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com