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Tag:turnips
Posted on: June 3, 2008 1:57 pm
 

Getting Blown ...Off

Reading Smorgie's lycanthrope blow off technique really made me laugh and I thought about some of the excuses I have used to get guys to stop bothering me in bars.  The run of the mill stuff sure, period, herpes, married, aching to get married, you know the lines guys.  I really haven't come up with too many creative blow-off techniques, certainly no sure fire ones that work no matter what. But I know there are some hard core daters out there on both sides of the blow off who can share their most sure fire weapon or share one that was used on them personally.  One that was so original that you just had to respect her for its creativity and originality.

One to get us started....(not a very good one) .... I was sitting in bar minding my own business when my third hit  of the evening presented himself.  He rather politely said, " Excuse me, I hate to bother you..."   And I interrupted with a curt, "Then don't."  Ouch, that was rude of me but I was not in the mood for passes that evening.  To that polite fellow, sorry about that.

Anyway, I know you can do better than that.

AV

Posted on: May 27, 2008 8:56 am
Edited on: May 27, 2008 6:40 pm
 

I need help choosing my new cup size...A,B,C or D

The time is drawing near.  A time so long and far into the future I could not imagine it actually getting here.  But on Friday I head to the plastic surgeon to discuss my reconstructive surgery.  Before my cancer, I was a D-cup.  I have lived most of my life with big breasts and they had become a part of my identity whether I wanted them to or not.  Living without after my cup had runneth over has been an eye opening experience in many ways-both positive and negative.  For a time I felt very inadequate and extremely self concious.  Natural to feel this way after so drastic a change to my health, physical and mental.  But the docs have giving me the go ahead to begin the process of reconstruction.  I am so excited to writing a late if not final chapter in the book of my cancer and look forward to getting on with normalcy. 

But I have a problem, I am not sure what size I want to be for the rest of my life.  I am 37 years old, 5'9" and 122 lbs today.  I am tall, athletic and muscular in build.  I am thinking of something smaller.  Perhaps a full B or smaller C cup.

But everytime I decide, I change my mind again.  So I need some help guys and gals.  Opinions please.  Pros and cons. Go big or small?  Or perhaps follow Baby Bear's advice and find something that is just right.

Thanks,

AV

Dear Trolls,

F.O.A.D. - thank you.

Posted on: March 20, 2008 6:02 pm
 

Where's Waldo Been In This World?

At the special request of one of my most ardent supporters, another question for the men and women of this board.  Lovin' in elevators, backseat of your ole man's Ford, behind them bushes, in the park, the kitchen table, your parents room, in a hospital bed (with or without the nurse), at school, in your son's tree house, your office, the mall, a mile high.....where ever you have had the gumption, the kahonis, the urge, the surge, the 'mones....what is the most outrageous place you have had sex.....and so help me God the first person who says' "Up the butt" will get a deletion so fast you'll wonder if you actually hit the submit button......Circumstances are helpful in scoring your post.

For me the most outrageous is in a movie theatre...I dated the owner...and we had some after hours showings.  Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more.....

AV

Dare I say keep it clean?

Posted on: March 17, 2008 5:01 pm
 

Caress me, kiss me, when and where?

The first time.  Starts with a glance, a coy look, a smile, a stare.  The time was right.  Who knows why now is now.  Mom and Dad are away.  The mice will play.  The hormones are surging.  It is so hot in here.  Caution is thrown to the wind and the sparks fly.  We all have our first time memory.   The circumstance, the location, the person you were with were all memorable.  The sex on the other hand was probably closer to forgettable. 

For the girls it is often a disappointment, over a little too fast for us and then there is all that poking around before hand.  No not there.  No. No definitely not THERE. Yeah OK there.  Where are you going?  What do you mean your done?

How about you fellas?  Let's be clear.  I want honesty.  No tales of manliness lasting deep into the evening. The poor girl begging for you to let her catch her breath.  The endless phone calls from her pleading for your return.  I want you to tell me about all 43 seconds in as much detail as proper editing can allow on this website.

Furthermore, I want to know .....was it serendipity?  Or your long time boy or girl friend?  Was it romantic or just overwith?  Who was it with? The baby sitter, the neighbor, the nanny, your cousin...let's hear it all including your age and your partner's age.

Let the lies begin......my BSometer is calibrated...so I will know....

 

Posted on: March 13, 2008 10:26 am
 

Guilty Pleasures....three fingers this time

When Kim and Mickey had their torrent of romance in 9.5 weeks we bore witness to the eroticism of using various foods and drinks to enhance our pleasure.  I have used chocolate syrup in ways Hersheys never intended as an example. Strawberries are easy to bring along especially if champagne is involved (Not you Illini fans).  So at the risk of this getting a little off color, I ask you all, women and men, what extracurricular food items did you bring along for the picnic of love?  What were the consequences?  What did you like?  What didn't you like?  And what was cleanup like?  Hopefully your food relationships lasted longer than 9.5 weeks....

Talking about food today is really a problem for me since I can't eat.....Oh well....

Let's hear it.

AV

Posted on: March 12, 2008 7:03 pm
 

Guilty Pleasures Two - Come (Clean) Again, Boys

When I have had a man around the house I must admit I have put on his button down shirt when he was not home.  It smelled wonderful and made me think devilishly about previous events.  Later when he came home I modeled it for him.  Ofcourse I never buttoned it all the way up, letting the top edge of a lacy bra peek out here and there.  They have all loved it and I have to admit I found it sexy and a turn on.  Just writing this now ... mmmm...... or is it a purrrr?  I have to admit to even wearing my man's boxers, though they were a little loose, and those were sexy too.  So as I thought about it and how sexy I found it to be, it occurred to me that men may get the same guilty pleasure if the shoe were on the other foot, so to speak.

You remember.  You're alone.  No one is coming home for hours. There it is at the foot of the bed.  It is calling to you.  Remember last night.  Yeah, you remember.  A quick touch.  Soft.  Almost still warm.  Shiny and smooth. Glance around.  You are alone, I assure you.  Go ahead, touch it again. It is only a bra.  Silky and lacy. You pick it up.  You fondly fondle it.  How silly I must look? No, no you don't.  Go ahead. You hold it up.

Now for the question.  Have you ever put it on?  Maybe not hooked it, after all 34 inches is way too small to go around your chest.  But have you put your arms through the straps?  How did you feel?  Sexy or silly.  It was only you alone with her bra...it won't tell.

Now that was alone time....have you ever modeled your ladies garmets for her?  This is what I want to know.  How does a man look in a teddy or bustier....  I am not talking about trannies or other perversions....just married or committed couples getting crazy in the privacy of their own bedrooms.   I have been to Brazil and seen a thong on a man at the beach - not attractive at all. 

Please make yourselves comfortable on the couch....

The Doctor is in.

AV

Posted on: March 10, 2008 10:40 pm
 

How hungry do you have to be to go down....

.....to the store and actually buy a turnip and eat it.  Dear God, is it possible there is a worst tasting vegi than the turnip?  I give the brussel sprout it's due.  And cooked cauliflower is pretty bad.  The rutabaga is nasty.  But the turnip has to be the worst.  It tastes bad raw, pickled, boiled, steamed, deep fried, batter fried, pn fried in butter and garlic, even with filet mignon on top of it.

What did you think this blog was about?

Category: NCAAB
Posted on: March 10, 2008 8:05 am
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